** rough copy
I remember that fateful day vividly
I could feel joy leaving me as you departed
My love now mixed with loneliness
My soul drowning with melancholy.
What did I do wrong?
Did I give too much?
Did I lack understanding?
Or is this one of life’s twisted jokes
Leaving me here all alone without your touch.
I prayed to find such a mesmerizing soul
I promised to love you forever
Yet you are now gone.
Why do the Gods punish me?
Granting me my desire only to take away
They let me taste a piece of heaven
And now I’m left with this eternal pain.
A wreck of a man is what I am now
Downcast, pensive, gloomy
Emptiness now lives through me.
Since the day you left
I’ve learned all there is about suffering
I have a life which is not mine
For my heart stopped living when you left
Now all I can do is cry.
My body hurts at the thought of what lies ahead
I had to learn to bear your absence
Yet everyday I keep hoping for your return.
Where once I could write sonnets
Now there is only empty pages
My words have turned into a cry for help
I ache to see you again.
I live to love you
to touch you,
Yet I am drowning in a sea of tears.
Empty bottles of bitter wine
Trying to match the pain I feel inside.
My smile has vanished
I am inconsolable
Each day I die a little more
This agony invades my soul
For I am no longer the recipient of your love.
I live only on the outside
For without you I am dead
Won’t you hear my cries?
Come back and bring me back to life.
Yet despite all my protests
I know now it’s too late
You are in someone else’s arms
I am left to my wretched fate.
I take another sip to numb the pain
As it bitterness hits me
Things become so clear
I become aware of my foolish thinking
For you were never meant to be caged
You were never meant to stay
Realization hits me one more time
I am no longer yours
And you were never mine.