Hi my name is Sofia and welcome to my page “Beneath The Layers.” I am a personal coach specializing in codependency issues, sexual trauma, and personal development. I have a background on Behavioural Counselling, Psychology, Neuro-Linguistic Programming, Reiki and Tantra. Aside from being a life coach, I am a speaker, blogger, amateur writer, meditator, lover of life, food, freedom and joy!.
I know just how important it is when looking for the right coach to have a solid idea of who the person is in order to build a trusting relationship; a relationship where you can feel safe and understood. Let me give you a little background about me as a person and professional.
I am what society calls a survivor of sexual/physical and emotional abuse. Personally I like to call myself a warrior. I am not your average lady, I have suffered and battled with severe PTSD and Dissociation. My journey is not over but I am certainly far from where I started.
Through the years I hid many of my challenges, my fears, my struggles; it seemed to me in order to succeed in this society you had to fit the cookie cutter version of what it was to be a good human being. I felt society demanded of me to hide my traumas, my anger, my emotions in general, until one day I could hide no more.
It was in 2005 when my life started to change, it was not a smooth transition neither was it my choice to start diving into my subconscious and exploring old wounds. That year I felt powerless, I had invested all I had at the time and moved my family half way across the world trying to run away from self; thinking if only I moved somewhere new and start again all my troubles would be over.
The universe in its infinite wisdom has a way of cleansing us; so my journey started. I lost it all. I came back to Canada with nothing. I felt I was never going to recover from the psychological stress and monetary loss I’ve suffered. Looking back on it, all of it was meant to happen. Up to that point I had tried to conceal all I felt inside. I couldn’t understand myself or why I made choices which would sabotage my own efforts and which were psychologically damaging.
My path to healing cost me a lot. Most who knew me back then could not understand my journey. I needed to break away, to explore and discover what was beneath the volcano in my soul, which seemed to be ready to explode at any time. At first I thought taking a few medications would do it, boy was I wrong!. All it did for me was turned me into a zombie. I was still hurting inside, except I couldn’t even tell myself I was hurting because I felt numb. I chose to submerge myself in psychotherapy with one of the best in the field; a doctor who understood and believed in the power of talking and retraining the mind, not numbing it. Through the years, it has been an honour to have met and worked with some of the best minds in the fields of Psychology, Counselling, NLP and Tantra.
Working on myself at times was very painful, at times I gave up, yet time and time again I would go back. Something inside me, a greater power in the universe, a deep desire to fight back, to heal, kept pushing me to go back and work through it. There were times I would come out of therapy barely able to walk, hurt, confused, feeling even more lost and disconnected than when I went in. I would get home and the pain would surface, the memories of all the abuse, the rapes, the beatings, mistakes I made on my own, all of it would come up bringing me to my knees. Like never before the question “Who am I?” started to be a constant in my mind. I realized then I had lived my life pleasing others. Some who had the best intentions, others who did not; yet I cared for their opinion because I secretly saw myself as the “problem”. I kept making choices which kept backfiring, but how could I have made “right” choices when I didn’t really know myself?.
When I came back to Canada I did not go back to study law; a career choice which had been picked for me. I studied various different things, succeeding at all of them yet dropping them when I was on top of the game. That was my self punishment, that was me fulfilling my prophecy that I was damaged goods. Little by little through self search, personal development/therapy and coaching I started to discover who I was. With self discovery came the strength to forge my own path. The more I worked on myself the more I knew what it was I wanted to do with my life; I wanted to help others. I wanted to make a difference in other’s lives, to bring hope where there was a feeling of darkness, to help others rediscover themselves and perhaps for the first time ever to listen to their own voice.
I came to understand the human mind and soul are on the one hand very complex, on the other very simple. Paradox? maybe for some, but the more we discover who we are the more we come to the understanding that this “paradox” is really a beautiful dance of all which makes us. Having found my calling in life, I submerged myself in research and studies on all subjects which I felt offer tremendous healing to the human psyche and the our soul. I submerged myself in Metaphysics, Psychology, Counselling, Neuro Linguistic Programming and Tantra. I pursued further studies on both Psychology and Tantric Counselling (mind/soul/body). As I submerged myself on obtaining my degrees and continued working with my own therapist, my soul kept growing and I started to discover beneath all the false layers, who I was!.
My journey is not over and I still have my own struggles, don’t we all?. Struggles are part of life. I am so happy to live in a new era, one where society more and more is awakening out of obsolete beliefs such as the one that only who whose life is perfect can guide others. Its beautiful to see how much are society is growing, dropping all beliefs and embracing reality. Reality is knowing and accepting that none of us are perfect, and our struggles only give us more insight, more experience, more knowledge.
I’ve decided to take a chance and follow my heart. I now follow my passion, which is to help others see no matter what has happened in life, you have a voice, a choice, and the experience to make a difference. My coaching style is not limited but rather an integrated version of all I have learned so far. With my schooling comes years of real life experience overcoming challenges and discovering who I was. I believe one person can make a difference in more ways than can be imagine as long as you find it in your heart to take courage, and take on the biggest journey you will ever make, the journey within yourself.
I am here to remind all of you who are hurting and who feel lost “you are not alone”. Perhaps you suffer silently, perhaps you feel you don’t have a voice, or you see yourself as a freak, damaged or the leftover from some traumatic experience; let me remind you that the power to your healing is in you, you are worth so much, you can and have the right to shine, without fears and apologies for being the authentic you.
Gold is refined by fire, diamonds by pressure, soil becomes fertile and plants grow more beautiful after they have had manure spread on them; just like these things, you are precious and you deserve to live a fulfilling life.
I am here to remind you that you are lovable and you deserve all the best this life has to offer. You have the power to recreate your world. Life is a journey; this journey never ends. It is my hope to guide you into rediscovering who you are (whether through one on one coaching or through the material I write). If my experiences, my knowledge can help you in any way to increase your self love, then my wish has been granted.
YOU ARE LOVED!
DISCOVER YOURSELF…EMBRACE YOURSELF…BE YOURSELF…