Like a dense fog this pain prevents me from seeing beyond Such intense pain It touches the deepest parts of my bones Yet my soul remembers warmth Of moments which felt like like spring Where are the days without the rain? Without the pain? Without the sorrow? Like a thief in the night Depression steals sweet moments of love Like a puzzling riddle it tortures my soul Memories hidden from so long ago How can I face these memories When I feel broken by their very shadow? How will my mind survive, if I have to see their horror? Like a roaring tornado thoughts rush in One after another they come Where will I find the sweet peace of silence? Between which hemisphere of shadows, Lies the unlocking key? Like David and Goliath, The brutal wrestling match goes on. Unable to make peace with these century old demons They promise to save me, if I am willing to take their hand I take a good look at them, Before I feel crushed one more time What a horror, to know the reality behind the masks They are not demons... They are my broken parts Forcing me to look at the brutality imposed by sinful acts! I resist the immense pain, I try to fight back Holding onto my sanity Trying to remember those I love The kindness of beautiful spirits To my thirsty and battered soul Their love has been like a glass full of fresh water Where does this cycle of torture stop before I can breathe again? My battered wings awaiting to take flight one more time What mixture of heroism am I to use this time? Like a sorcerer who las her footing Quickly the right potion I try to find Maybe after this last "trip" down memory lane All will cease and be well Or is this all for nothing? Is there another foggy day to come? Promising relief when all is said and done? Will I see the light again Or will the force of the the dark nebula devour me? Will I be consume by its haunting fires? Will I ever see again the sweet rays of hope? Will I stand one more time, Or will there be no coming back? Will I be able to defeat this feelings of hatred and revenge? Like a monstrous wounded dragon, they rise up Memories which threatened my very reality The battle is on... Here I go, one more time. I can hear the beating of the drums, The claspin of the mental swords My mind is but a cave with many places to hide In what miserable crater did I lose myself this time? Against what cold wall will I find my "core"? Her little arms wrapped around her legs Pleading...."please no more". How can I make her see that it's safe to come with me? My own will has been shaken Afraid I will not make it out this time Yet I still want to find her, "come to me little one". Life may be a winter of false hopes A fallen cry without sleep They have deceived me many times Promises like barren autumn trees Within the stretched network of cravings The inner child is lost again Maybe she is just that.... A semblance, elusive and benevolent Here I am little one Let me hold you one more time In my arms you are safe They will not hurt you, protecting you I will die I may be stubborn and full of fury But I love the innocence you bring to my life You are the light to my blind eyes Goddess, woman, mother and child That is who "we" are! Let me rock you in my arms Until your light once more shines I cannot promise you a happy ending to this life But together we will rise For depression is nor our enemy It is our friend in disguise Trying to reunite our broken pieces So our spirit may soar high High into the beautiful blue skies. -Sofia E. Falcone- Dedicated to those who battle with depression or traumas; what happened doesn't define you--YOU are beautiful. This is an old poem which was written after one of my "dark nights of the soul". I keep it within my collection Enigma of my Heart Volume II, Raw poetry. Thank you for your support.