Tonight I can sense it,
That familiar feeling
How I dread its calling
Yet everything in me comes alive by its presence.
Like a persistent knock on a door
Only it is my soul
It is my magic and essence
Dreams which are evanescent.
That fucking desire to go far
To start from scratch
To go wherever the winds blow
To a place where no one knows my name
And let go of myself without any shame.
I want to stop the persistent judgement
From those too afraid to look in
Always throwing stones while
hiding behind shadows
Like empty ghosts
Trying to feed off my bones.
I have the desire to get lost
To dance alone
Feeling my body’s every movement
Getting drunk on my own ectasy
Free yet fragile like a blind butterfly
Enjoying the light mixed with my darkness.
I have the desire to be held by my angels
While I succumb to my demons
I want to anesthetize the wounds inside
To feel human one more time
Or maybe I want to feel what’s divine.
I want to submerge my naked body
In the deep cold waters of the ocean
To float free, carried by its waves
Reminding me of what matters.
I have the desire to explore places unknown
To find a magical town and roam
Where the noise of the city finally subsides
Rocked to sleep on its meadows by my heart’s lullaby.
I have the desire to undress my soul
To say “fuck all of it” yet feel I am home
To let all my wildness out
Not being told it’s too much.
I want to converse of magical and erotic things
Undressing my soul before I choose to make love
With each movement allowing myself to fall into the abyss
Only to rise through the sweet power of the orgasm.
I want to leave my prints yet not look back
Knowing the moment will live in my mind
Allowing myself not to care
Without feeling as if I am being unfair.
I have the desire to climb a mountain and shout
To laugh until tears roll down my cheeks
And feel my tummy ache from joy and release.
Today I feel that constant knock
Reminding me of my gypsy soul
Like a phoenix waiting to be reborn
The fire in me wanting to erupt.
I want to be where dreams and madness are normal
Where only those familiar with this ache recognize the call
It’s the call of the wild within
The multifaceted me
It’s the call of life
Its’s the call of my soul!