Poetry is often written about sexuality, love and hope.  It is rare to find poetry which shines light on the social problems our world faces, and even rarer to find poetry which openly talks about the repercussion of child sexual/psychological abuse.

Sexual and Psychological abuse at any age is unacceptable, yet each day  there are those who will be abused, raped; sadder yet is the fact that there are those who will endure abuse day in and out, repeatedly for prolonged periods of time.  It isn’t enough to remember this on specific days of the year.  It is important to remember this happens every day to someone.  Whether you know that person or not is irrelevant, none of us know what could happen to us or our children in the future.  I am not trying to scare you or to have you live in fear, but to make you aware of the reality as it is for many.  I hope you become vigilant of those precious to you, for if they are precious, guide them, love them and protect them; do not over shelter them or abandon them, for both can have dire consequences.

To those of you who may have known abuse at some points in your lives, and to those of you who were repeatedly abused; I hope you learn to see yourself clearly.  YOU DID NOTHING WRONG, and it’s time to stop punishing yourself for what monsters covered in human skin did to you.   I know the road to healing won’t be easy; I know that first hand; but it is possible.   I don’t write because I am “healed”, I write because I am working on healing myself and I want others to know there is no shame on having wounds, scars, pain, depression, anger.

I write because too many of us have been made to be silent.  In a desire to forget the pain, too many have turned their backs on others who have gone or are going through it.  Pain and trauma can not be simply pushed away; the only way to heal is to walk through it.  You can do it… I know you can because if you are reading this, you have survived and that is a sign of tremendous strength.  Now I am asking you to LIVE, for surviving is not enough.  I am asking you to TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FIRST and then whenever you are capable of it, use your voice and experiences to help others. 

Do not push the pain and trauma away; pretending won’t help, it will only turn you into a cold sarcastic person.  Do not victimize yourself either, otherwise you are still letting those who hurt you punish you even from afar.  I know is not easy, it is possibly one of the hardest things to do, but YOU can do it, even if slowly.

Do not become sarcastic about life…life is beautiful, life is magical, life is sensual, life is pure.  It wasn’t life who did this to you, life kept you here, and life wants you to take your power back.  Life wants you to stand up when others try to put you down.  Life wants you to embrace yourself with so much love and courage as to never ever  lower your gaze because of what others may think of you.  Although this writing is from a personal female perspective, it is dedicated to any man or woman, boy or girl who ever went through abuse.

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The saddest verses come forth tonight…

About the spirit of a young girl who was killed while alive…

I can see her in the distant memories too far gone yet present tonight…

I can see her shivering hands and the broken body left behind..

While nobody listened to the silence of her tears… 

Nobody dared to look directly at her brown eyes…

They shut their hearts as they shut their eyes…

I can see her clearly… 

Hope leaves her eyes as another night devours the day…

Her heart races as the sound of their footsteps get closer…

She can smell their breath…

Reminding her of cigarettes, booze and hell..

Fingers cover her fragile lips…

Like vultures they devour her soul through her skin…

Beautiful they call her…

But a slave to their sickness she has become…

As morning comes they will forget what they did to her…

Others will look and praise them with awe and respect…

The chains they imposed, the pain; she is but a walking dead..

One day she screamed out loud, the nightmares; her hell…

She hoped to be saved, for justice to come…

Yet their wives covered their ears and turned their backs…  

Her silence they tried to buy like a common slut…

Sinner they called her while the monsters drank her blood at night…

The girl is no longer; she was “purified”…

Her mind turned inside out, yet she was “sanctified”…

And so the girl disappeared far from the reach of their hands…

So far inside she hid; terrified was the kid…

She sat on the edge of a dangerous wall…

I could let myself die slowly she thought…

I could let myself fall on the sharp edges of my wounds…

I can die on the chaotic line of shadows…

I could let myself drown in oblivion…

Who will remember me?….

Who will hear my cries?…

I can die defeated and deserted one more time…

She sat there so long; she lost track of time…

Maybe it was for the best, for inside she found light…

She found strength….

she found the divine!…

Out of a forgotten place a warrior rises back…

Like a phoenix rising her shadow becomes soul…

From a divine place her strength is given…

A place found on no altar, nor make belief heaven; no lies..

Her eyes have witness what lies beyond…

From the deepest realms of her soul she is sent back…

Her life to be like water for those who thirst for life…

Her voice to reach those who are forgotten; left behind…

Do not cry to the outside, do not blame yourself, do not hide…

Do not let them label you…

Do not take their punishments…

Face them with pride…

Make your life the sword with which you fight…

God doesn’t ask for you to be on your knees…

God doesn’t need you to beg for mercy and cry…

God doesn’t need your constant prayer…

God is found within not without…

Gold refine by fire…

A diamond in the rough is what you are…

The journey won’t be easy but you were made tough..

Warrior, child, mother, goddess; that is who you are…

So stand up and raise those beautiful eyes…

For the life you wanted is within reach of your capable hands..

 

 

 

 

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