Poetry is often written about sexuality, love and hope. It is not as common to find poetry which shines light on the social problems our world faces; even rarer to find poetry which openly talks about the repercussion of child’s sexual and psychological abuse.
Sexual and Psychological abuse at any age is unacceptable, yet each day there are thousands who are abused and battered. Sadder yet is the fact there are those whose abuse won’t be a one time thing but who endure abuse day in and day out; repeatedly for prolonged periods of time.
It isn’t enough to remember this crude fact on specific days of the year or to simply right a check without understanding the suffering imposed. It is important to remember abuse happens every day to thousands of people. Whether you know a person who has been or is being victim of abuse or not is irrelevant; it is important not to lose our humanity, our ability to relate, to empathize with others. I am not trying to scare you or to push you to live in fear but to make you aware of the reality as it is for many. I hope you become vigilant of those precious to you; specially children; guide them, love them and protect them. By bringing this subject to your attention, I am in no way recommending that you start over sheltering your children, for often the results of over sheltering are no less dire than the behavior exposed by children who have been subject of neglect.
To those of you who may have known abuse at some points in your lives and to those of you who were repeatedly abused; I hope you learn to see yourself clearly…. YOU DID NOTHING WRONG and it’s time to stop punishing yourself for what monsters covered in human skin did to you. I know the road to healing won’t be easy; I know that first hand; but it is possible.
I don’t write because I am “healed”, I write because I am working on healing myself and I want others to know there is no shame on having wounds, scars, pain, depression, anger, PTSD, dissociation or whatever else they have labeled you. I write because too many of us have been made to be silent. In a desire to avoid pain, too many have turned their backs on others who have gone or are going through trauma. Pain and trauma cannot be simply pushed away; the only way to heal is to walk through it.
If you have endured abuse, it may seem there you won’t ever heal but You CAN … I know you can, because if you are reading this, it means you have survived and that is a sign of tremendous strength. Now I am asking you to take the steps necessary towards LIVING for surviving is not enough. I am asking you to TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FIRST and then whenever you are capable of it, use your voice and experiences to help others.
Do not push the pain and trauma away; pretending you are fine won’t help; it will only turn you into a cold sarcastic person. Do not victimize yourself either, otherwise you are still letting those who abused you punish you even from afar. I know the healing process can be very challenging and finding the balance between being aware of what happened to you and where you want to be isn’t easy; it’s possibly one of the hardest things to do…but you can do it, even if slowly.
Do not become sarcastic about life for life is beautiful, life is magical, life is sensual, life is pure. It wasn’t life who did this to you… life kept you here and life wants you to take your power back. Life wants you to stand up when others try to put you down. Life wants you to embrace yourself with so much love and courage as to never ever lower your gaze because of what others may think of you.
Although the following piece has been written from a female perspective, it is dedicated to any man or woman, boy or girl who ever went through abuse.
The saddest verses come forth tonight…
About the spirit of a young girl who was killed while alive
I can see her in the distant memories too far gone yet present tonight
I can see her shivering hands and the broken body left behind
Nobody listened to the haunted silence of her tears
Nobody dared to look directly at her brown eyes
They shut their hearts as they shut their eyes
I can see her clearly…
Hope leaves her eyes as another night devours the day
Her heart races as the sound of their footsteps get closer
She can smell their breath
Reminding her of cigarettes, booze and hell
Fingers cover her fragile lips
Like vultures they devour her soul through her skin
Beautiful they call her
But a slave to their sickness she has become
As morning comes, they will forget what they did to her
Others will look and praise their masks with awe and respect
The chains they imposed…
The pain; she is but a walking dead
One day she screamed out loud, the nightmares; her hell
She hoped to be saved, for justice to come
Yet their wives covered their ears and turned their backs
Her silence they tried to buy like a common slut
Sinner they called her while the monsters drank her blood at night
The girl is no longer; she was “purified”
Her mind turned inside out, yet she was “sanctified”
The girl disappeared far from the reach of their hands
So far inside she hid; terrified was the kid
She sat on the edge of a dangerous wall
I could let myself die slowly she thought
I could let myself fall on the sharp edges of my wounds
I can die on the chaotic line of shadows
I could let myself drown in oblivion
Who will remember me?
Who will hear my cries?
I can die defeated and deserted one more time
She sat there so long; she lost track of time
Maybe it was for the best, for inside she found light
She found strength….
She found the divine!
Out of a forgotten place a warrior rises back
Like a phoenix rising, her shadow becomes soul
From a divine place her strength is given
A place found on no altar, nor make belief heaven
Her eyes have witness what lies beyond
From the deepest realms of her soul she is sent back
She is like water for those who thirst for life
Her voice to reach those who are forgotten; left behind
Do not cry to those who don’t care…
Do not blame yourself….
Do not hide
Do not let them label you…
Do not take their punishments…
Face them with pride…
Make your life the sword with which you shall fight
God doesn’t ask for you to be on your knees
God doesn’t need you to beg for mercy and cry
God doesn’t need your constant prayer
God is found within not without
Gold refines by fire
A diamond in the rough is what you are
The journey won’t be easy but you were made tough
Warrior, child, mother, goddess
That is who you are
Stand up and raise those beautiful eyes
For the life you wanted is within reach…
Of your capable hands!