This poem is dedicated to all those who have lost a significant other to death. I know each case is unique but am hoping this poem reflects the frustration and regret of all the things which were never said and the pain one undergoes through the grieving process. If you have recently felt such pain, then you probably relate to the regret, the pain, the frustration, the feeling of wanting to reach to the other side; all of it is natural.  I can’t tell you how to grieve but I can tell you that you have the right to let those emotions surface and slowly your body, mind and soul will release them, clearing the path to a new beginning.  A new beginning doesn’t mean you forget, it means you give yourself permission to live again, to breathe again, to allow your heart to open up once more, to rediscover emotions without loosing all you learned before.  Love doesn’t end because someone crossed to the other side, instead that love is transformed and integrated into who we are; we the ones that still walk on this side of the line.  We die a little with them, but we are reborn with the integration of the lessons and the cherishing of the beautiful memories which helped healed our hearts at its time.

*************************************************************************************

 

Sitting here with nothing but the horizon in front of me…

I can feel the soft caress of the water as its lingering waves gently caress my toes…

The sand warm and soft as your embrace once was…

Where are you now?…

Can you hear the loud calling of my heartbeat?…

Come and save me from the storm within…

Save me from this nostalgia that is fucking up my life… 

Call me and break my silence with the sound of your voice…

Search for me, follow the maddening sounds which haunt your soul…

Find me and kiss me the way the moon kisses these waves at night….

Without permission and without limitations….

Come back and sweeten my being with the essence of your aroma…

Bring to life the dead butterflies and awaken those which are asleep…

Return my faith; make me believe in the possibility of the impossible…

Save me from this cold lonely feeling which haunts me every night…

I soothe my loneliness with the hope of seeing your eyes once more…

I picture your hand gently stroking my cheek as you search deep into my brown eyes…

Do you still remember me?

Can you still hear our song?…

Do our memories haunt the threshold of your mind?..

Are you so far away that you can’t hear my cries?…

Are there sighs of regret when contemplating the last time you held me in your arms?…

Do your thoughts ran towards me asking about your sad walk without my company?…

Do you know how to answer their relentless questioning?…

Do you toss and turn hoping soon to fall asleep or to wake up?…

Do you even know where you are?…

Are you afraid, are you at peace, are you all right?…

Do you wish for me to come rushing in like a cool breeze in a spring day?…

Do you miss the warmth of my body and the sound of my voice?…

Do you miss me as I miss the peace I felt within your arms?..

I know the answers to all these questions whenever I close my eyes…

I remember clearly the pained look on your face…

The clenched fists as I walked away…

Your haunted cries as my taxi disappeared…

Now I sit here wondering how to reach you where you are…

Come and save me from the painful knot I carry in my soul…

Show me how these knot can be untied so the storm will end…

I can feel its power as its waters overflow through my eyes…

They caress my cheeks but can’t take away the pain…

For without you my soul feels cold…

Without you all I have left is an empty look…

For I can no longer contemplate the moon as I did before…

The magic is gone and with it my hope…

Will you hear my cries and rush back to me?…

Can we turn back time and pretend I did not leave?…

I am haunted without you….

I have tried to live and failed…

For your memory haunts me each and every day….

I can’t bring you back to life so maybe I will meet you soon in death…

As I take my last breath we will once more embrace…

and within that embrace we’ll  forever disappear…

Advertisements