This poem is dedicated to all those who have lost a significant other to death. I understand each case is unique but am hoping this poem reflects the frustration and regret of all the things which were never said and the pain one undergoes through the grieving process. If you have recently felt such pain, then you probably relate to the regret, the pain, the frustration, the feeling of wanting to reach to the other side; all of it is natural. I can’t tell you how to grieve but I can tell you that you have the right to let those emotions surface. Slowly your body, mind and soul will release them; clearing the path to a new beginning. A new beginning doesn’t mean you forget, it means you give yourself permission to live again, to breathe again, to allow your heart to open up once more, to rediscover emotions without loosing all you learned before. Love doesn’t end because someone crossed to the other side, instead that love is transformed and integrated into who we are; we the ones that still walk on this side of the line. We die a little with them, but we are reborn with the integration of the lessons and the cherishing of the beautiful memories which helped healed our hearts at its time.
BEYOND THE HORIZON
Sitting here with nothing but the horizon in front of me,
I can feel the soft caress of the water as its lingering waves gently caress my toes
The sand warm and soft as your embrace once was
Where are you now?
Can you hear the loud calling of my heartbeat?
Come and save me from the storm within
Save me from this nostalgia that is fucking up my life
Call me and break my silence with the sound of your voice
Search for me, follow the maddening sounds which haunt your soul
Find me and kiss me the way the moon kisses these waves at night
Without permission and without limitations
Come back and sweeten my being with the essence of your aroma
Bring to life the dead butterflies and awaken those which are asleep
Return my faith; make me believe in the possibility of the impossible
Save me from this cold lonely feeling which haunts me every night
I soothe my loneliness with the hope of seeing your eyes once more
I picture your hand gently stroking my cheek,
Searching deep into my brown eyes
Do you still remember me?
Can you still hear our song?
Do our memories haunt the threshold of your mind?
Are you so far away that you can’t hear my cries?
Are there sighs of regret when contemplating the last time, you held me in your arms?
Do your thoughts run towards me asking about your sad walk without my company?
Do you know how to answer their relentless questioning?
Do you toss and turn hoping soon to fall asleep or to wake up?
Do you even know where you are?
Are you afraid, are you at peace, are you all right?
Do you wish for me to come rushing in like a cool breeze in a spring day?
Do you miss the warmth of my body and the sound of my voice?
Do you miss me as I miss the peace I felt within your arms?
I know the answers to all these questions whenever I close my eyes
I remember clearly the pained look on your face
The clenched fists as I walked away
Your haunted cries as my taxi disappeared
Now I sit here wondering how to reach you where you are
Come and save me from the painful knots I carry in my soul
Show me how these knots can be untied so the storm will end
I can feel its power as its waters overflow my eyes
Tears caress my cheeks but can’t take away the pain
For without you my soul feels cold
Without you all I have left is an empty look
For I can no longer contemplate the moon as I did before
The magic is gone and with it my hope
Will you hear my cries and rush back to me?
Can we turn back time and pretend I did not leave?
I am haunted without you
I have tried to live and failed
For your memory haunts me each and every day
I can’t bring you back to life so maybe I’ll meet you soon in death
As I take my last breath we will once more embrace
and within that embrace we’ll forever disappear.