Like a dense fog this pain prevents me from seeing beyond

Such intense pain which touches even the deepest parts of my bones

Yet my soul remembers the warmth of moments which felt like spring

Where are the days without rain, without pain, without sorrow?

Like a thief in the night depression steals sweet moments of love

Like a puzzling riddle it tortures my soul

Memories hidden from so long ago

How can I face memories when I feel broken by their very shadow?

How will my mind survive if I have to see their horror?

Like a roaring tornado thoughts rush in one after another

Where will I find the sweet peace of beautiful silence?

Between which hemisphere of shadows lies the unlocking key?

Like David and Goliath, the brutal wrestling match goes on

Unable to make peace with these century old demons

Demons who promise to save me if am willing to take their hand

I take a good look at them before I feel crushed one more time

Oh, what a horror to know the reality behind the masks

They are not demons; they are my broken parts

Forcing me to look at the brutality imposed on them by sinful acts!

I resist the immense pain holding onto my sanity

Remembering those I love and the value of their kindness

To my thirsty, battered soul their love is like a bucket of water

Where does this cycle of torture stop before I can breathe again?

My battered wings awaiting to take flight one more time

What mixture of heroism am I to use this time?

Like a sorcerer who has lost her footing; quickly the right potion I try to find

Maybe after this last trip all will remain the same

Maybe all this battling and trying is for nothing

Another foggy day to come

Promising relief when all is said and done

Will I see the light again or will the farce of the dark nebula devour me?

Will I be consumed by its haunting fires?

Will I ever see again the sweet rays of hope?

Will I stand one more time or will there be no coming back?

Will I be able to beat these feelings of hatred and revenge?

Feelings which threaten my very reality

Like a monstrous wounded dragon, they rise up from deep inside

The battle is on; one more time

I can hear the beating of the drums, the clasping of the mental swords

My mind is but a cave with many places to hide

In what miserable place did I lose myself this time?

Against what cold wall will I find my “core”?

Her little arms wrapped around her legs, pleading “please no more”

How can I make her see that it’s safe to come with me?

My own will has been shaken

Afraid I will not make it out this time

Yet I still want to find her “come to me little one”

Life may be a winter of false hopes

A fallen cry without sleep

They have deceived us many times

Promises like barren autumn trees

Within the stretched network of cravings

The inner child lost once again

Maybe you are just that…

A semblance, elusive and benevolent

I may be stubborn and full of anger but I love the innocence of who you are

Goddess, woman, mother and child!

You are the water to my thirst

The light to my blinded eyes

Little one let me hold you one more time

Let me rock you in my arms until your light once more shines

I can’t promise you a happy ending to this life

Take my hand, together one more time we shall rise

For depression is not our enemy, it is our friend in disguise

And it’s trying to reunite us, so our spirit may soar into the beautiful skies!