Like a dense fog this pain prevents me from seeing beyond
Such intense pain which touches even the deepest parts of my bones
Yet my soul remembers the warmth of moments which felt like spring
Where are the days without rain, without pain, without sorrow?
Like a thief in the night depression steals sweet moments of love
Like a puzzling riddle it tortures my soul
Memories hidden from so long ago
How can I face memories when I feel broken by their very shadow?
How will my mind survive if I have to see their horror?
Like a roaring tornado thoughts rush in one after another
Where will I find the sweet peace of beautiful silence?
Between which hemisphere of shadows lies the unlocking key?
Like David and Goliath, the brutal wrestling match goes on
Unable to make peace with these century old demons
Demons who promise to save me if am willing to take their hand
I take a good look at them before I feel crushed one more time
Oh, what a horror to know the reality behind the masks
They are not demons; they are my broken parts
Forcing me to look at the brutality imposed on them by sinful acts!
I resist the immense pain holding onto my sanity
Remembering those I love and the value of their kindness
To my thirsty, battered soul their love is like a bucket of water
Where does this cycle of torture stop before I can breathe again?
My battered wings awaiting to take flight one more time
What mixture of heroism am I to use this time?
Like a sorcerer who has lost her footing; quickly the right potion I try to find
Maybe after this last trip all will remain the same
Maybe all this battling and trying is for nothing
Another foggy day to come
Promising relief when all is said and done
Will I see the light again or will the farce of the dark nebula devour me?
Will I be consumed by its haunting fires?
Will I ever see again the sweet rays of hope?
Will I stand one more time or will there be no coming back?
Will I be able to beat these feelings of hatred and revenge?
Feelings which threaten my very reality
Like a monstrous wounded dragon, they rise up from deep inside
The battle is on; one more time
I can hear the beating of the drums, the clasping of the mental swords
My mind is but a cave with many places to hide
In what miserable place did I lose myself this time?
Against what cold wall will I find my “core”?
Her little arms wrapped around her legs, pleading “please no more”
How can I make her see that it’s safe to come with me?
My own will has been shaken
Afraid I will not make it out this time
Yet I still want to find her “come to me little one”
Life may be a winter of false hopes
A fallen cry without sleep
They have deceived us many times
Promises like barren autumn trees
Within the stretched network of cravings
The inner child lost once again
Maybe you are just that…
A semblance, elusive and benevolent
I may be stubborn and full of anger but I love the innocence of who you are
Goddess, woman, mother and child!
You are the water to my thirst
The light to my blinded eyes
Little one let me hold you one more time
Let me rock you in my arms until your light once more shines
I can’t promise you a happy ending to this life
Take my hand, together one more time we shall rise
For depression is not our enemy, it is our friend in disguise
And it’s trying to reunite us, so our spirit may soar into the beautiful skies!