Am I awake?, how to know?
If am awake what a joy!!!
Nowhere is there sadness
The fog and the storms have vanished
As I reach for my third glass of wine
I feel my heart palpitate free and wild
If this is a dream I want not to wake
I look all around not a familiar face
Yet my soul feels safer now than it ever did.
Outside snow covers the unfamiliar ground
For years I waited for a snowflake
As if it had the power to switch off my body
A tired body which burned like coal
It is said we all walk on paths of our choosing
Is it so?….
In my life I encountered many strange paths
Strange paths I could not recognize
Paths chosen for me, with me; yet no memory remains
Living with a secret which most would fear
Sometimes my world feels familiar
At other times it does not
Walking paths and taking turns someone else chose
Waters flow on the valley only because something commands it so
I too live wrestling between destiny and choice.
Always carrying my Pandora’s box
A secret so deep no one really knows
Forever closing my lips so they won’t run away
No more…no more…
Amnesia here, amnesia there
Amnesia you became my friend.
Many like me walking among this world
Hiding as if in shame and all alone
Why do we have to pay for the brutality of men?
No more. No more…
For years I’ve been nothing but a dead end
Pandora’s box opened at a tender age
Why should I be crucified for the violence of men?
No more…No more…
We live among you, you cold hearts
You who demand a price for every smile
You who cry at an image of a poor child
Yet coward at the sight of his aggressor’s work
You who claim to love this world
Yet demand those like us to hide behind a wall
Shame on you for fake is your joy
God put us among you to teach you to fight
God put us among you to value your life
We who have carried Pandora’s box for too long…
Chains imposed on a little child…
Lighting bolt on the opposing hill
Thunder on the back hill
A child in the middle crying out
Tears and screams as mute as a dumb stone.
I was thrown in the flames and swam in dark waters
I’ve fought hard and long to earned my life back
Painful was the process of opening my eyes
Razor sharp…
But I’ve come back!
Here and there I see the lights
No longer willing to be kept at bay, hidden and in shame
For many like me need a voice
I Am not afraid of this world and its mockeries
For I have also seen the light
I’ve seen the beauty of those like me and those who are not
I’ve seen how God chooses special souls to change a world
We are different than you yet the same
We feel intensely…
We love passionately…
We hear with our hearts…
Our minds a deep ocean; it’s many secrets we have untapped
We are not scare to stand up against injustice
That is who we are.
We are like you as well…
We dream, we cry, we get hurt, we laugh…
So for once let us join hands
We are different yet we are the same
Let’s be like waves…
One does not move alone, they all do
Each wave different yet the same
I no longer fear the monsters or the snakes
Although confused at times, no longer am I lost
Afraid at times, yet no longer scare
Looking back, the mountain from which I descended has disappeared.
Although winter I can feel the autumn breeze
Strong and powerful are the breezes of change
The Universe wraps its loving arms around my waist
As it carries me to an inner place of magic
As it submerges me in the ocean of its wisdom and its strength
Looking back now I can see its beautiful plan
I’m no monster, nor are those who like me hide
The Universe chose our path well
We earned our shields through all the pain
Yet the loving lord protected our tender hearts
Idealistic hearts that see deep and see well
Freaks and misfits you call us because we stand tall and proud
We don’t let hurt define us
We don’t coward at your command
We live by the eldest beat which keeps all alive
Awake we are becoming and more and more we show who we are!
So here is to those like me, who have fought through the darkest of times
Here is to you who have earned your place in life and are proud of your scars
Here is to you who did not succumb to the horrors imposed
Nor let your dreams died
Here is to those who feel alone because they are different
Beautiful you are…
Don’t let their mockery and hatred take away your pure heart
You are not alone, many of us there are
Even in the darkest of times, know there is a light
Embrace yourself my dear and shine
Do not be afraid to show just how beautifully freaky and special you are!!!