For some weddings are a beautiful thing, sometimes however weddings can be too much; specially if you find yourself in a situation where working on the guest list becomes a stressful thing. How do you go around dealing with guests and sitting arrangements in delicate situations where family feuds exist?
The simple, effective and most respectful answer may be a secret wedding or eloping.
A wedding is a celebration of your love, it’s a day you’ll want to remember; a day full of joy and stress free. Your wedding day should be about you and your partner not about everyone else.
Secret weddings are not for everyone, so if you are not too comfortable with the idea you may want to opt for an intimate wedding instead. Personally I am very picky about who I let in my inner circle, hence I do not like big weddings, I find them impersonal and wasteful. However, I am also conscious a big wedding may be someone else’s big dream, which is great, it’s just not mine. That is the beautiful part of life, we are all different and we can express our likes or dislikes differently. This article however is for those like minded people who would rather have an intimate wedding or to elope yet are still debating internally the outcome of going through with their choice.
Here are some of the benefits to having an intimate or secret wedding:
1) MONEY. Weddings are expensive. Think of the money you will save by having an intimate/secret wedding. There is no point in spending tons of money which you can save and use for something more important than to entertain people who may not really care about your special day or who simply aren’t close to you.
If you are going to spend money, do it on those who love you. Don’t concern yourself with what others think because life will go on, and at the end its not their choice, is yours!
2) NO COMPROMISES. When you throw a big size wedding, chances are your family and friends will want input on how your day should go. They will try to tell you where it should be, what should it look like, what should be served and so on. You’ll have to take into considerations other’s people’s likes and dislikes more than your own. If you don’t compromise feelings are hurt and family feuds can start or deepen. You may also end up offending or being disrespectful by choosing to invite a particular person over another.
When there are no compromises with others on your special day, you can make the details personal and meaningful to you and your loved one.
If you choose to opt for an intimate wedding instead, you will get to have more quality time with each of your guests. Personalized details also become far more memorable and more meaningful when you are creating for only a few.
3) MAKE IT A FAMILY AFFAIR. Family isn’t always blood, so if you choose for an intimate wedding, you invite only those whom you know have your best interest at heart. You and your partner may have enough family on your own that you don’t need to invite others. Weddings are not about collecting gifts, it’s about celebrating the love you and your partner share.
If you opt for a secret wedding or eloping, consider having two of your closest friends to be there for support and to share your special moment.
4) YOU’LL BE ABLE TO PARTY TOGETHER. At traditional weddings you and your soon to be spouse are separated before the event. At the reception you are too busy thanking guests, by the time all is said and done chances are you will be exhausted.
Some people believe the wedding isn’t supposed to be for you, it’s for your family; I don’t agree. Why shouldn’t you be selfish on your special day? It’s your wedding not theirs.
There will be plenty of vacations and holidays to spend time with family and others.
5) YOU GET TO KEEP YOUR SANITY. People go crazy planning for weddings. An intimate wedding or a secret wedding is a good way to save yourself from the nightmare of spending so much time and effort taking everyone’s opinion on wedding invitations, designs, table cloth patterns and of course the stress of organizing seating arrangements. With a big wedding there will be conventions, websites to visit, binders, too many emails, too many “deals” that have the potential to seriously stress you out.
6) IT WILL BE TOTALLY FINE IF YOU DON’T WANT TO INVITE ANYONE OR A FEW NUMBER OF PEOPLE.
Parents can particularly be very vocal about how they picture their child’s wedding. Since its customary for parents to help with the wedding expenses, the couple can end up feeling guilty about saying “no”. With an intimate wedding or a secret wedding, you have control over all details. You won’t have to worry about anyone’s insistence on what your colors should be.
7) PERSONALIZED PHOTOS. Plenty of photographers specialize on elopement photos. They do an amazing job of it and you won’t have to worry about making the bridesmaids and groomsmen look good.
8) YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT WITH YOUR VOWS. You can be raw and totally honest about how you feel. You don’t have to impress anyone and you will have the comfort of knowing your word’s were fully understood by your loved one.
9) YOU CAN SURPRISE EVERYONE WITH THE NEWS. You can choose when and how you tell others. It will be a total surprise but those who love and support your relationship will be happy.
10) YOU CAN ALWAYS HOST A RECEPTION LATER. After you deliver the news you may choose to host a small reception/BBQ. You won’t have to rush; you’ll be able to do it whenever you feel the time is right.