For some, weddings are a beautiful thing. Sometimes however weddings can be too much; specially if you find yourself in a situation where working on the guest list becomes a stressful thing. How do you go around dealing with guests and sitting arrangements in delicate situations where family feuds exist, and differences can not be resolved?.
The simple, effective and most respectful answer may be a secret wedding/eloping.
Think about it, a wedding is a celebration of your love. It is a day you will want to remember full of joy and stress free. Your wedding day should be about you and your partner, not about everyone else.
Secret weddings are not for everyone; so if you are not too comfortable with the idea, you may want to opt for an intimate wedding instead. Personally, I am very picky about who I let in my inner circle, hence I do not like big weddings; I find them impersonal and wasteful. However, I am also conscious that a big wedding may be someone else’s dream which is great for those who like that sort of thing; it’s just not me. So this article is for those like minded people who would rather have an intimate wedding, or elope, yet are still debating internally the outcome of going through with their choice.
Here are some of the benefits to having an intimate or secret wedding:
1). MONEY. Weddings are expensive. Think of the money you will save by having an intimate/secret wedding. There is no point in spending tons of money which you can save and use for something more important than to entertain people who may not really care about your special day, or who simply aren’t close to you.
If you are going to spend money, do it, on those who love you. Don’t concern yourself with what others think, because life will go on, and at the end its not their choice, is yours!.
2) NO COMPROMISES. When you throw a big size wedding, chances are your family and friends will want input on how your day should go. They will try to tell you where it should be, what should it look like, what should be served, and so on. You’ll have to take into considerations other’s people’s likes and dislikes more than your own. If you don’t compromise, feelings are hurt and family feuds can start or deepen. You may also end up offending or being disrespectful by choosing to invite a particular person over another.
When there are no compromises with others on your special day, you can make the details personal and meaningful to you and your loved one.
If you choose to opt for an intimate wedding instead, think how much more personalized time you will get with your guests. Personalized details also become far more memorable and more meaningful when you are creating them for only a few.
3)MAKE IT A FAMILY AFFAIR. Remember that family isn’t always blood. So if you choose for an intimate wedding, you invite only those who you know have your and your partner’s best interest at heart. You and your partner may have enough family on your own that you don’t need to invite others. Weddings are not about collecting gifts; if you look at it that way; inviting a bunch of people who aren’t close too you, will seem silly.
If you opt for a secret wedding or eloping, consider maybe having two of your closest friends to be there for support and to share your special moment.
4)YOU’LL BE ABLE TO PARTY TOGETHER. At traditional weddings, you and your soon to be spouse are separated before the event. At the reception you are too busy
thanking guests; by the time it’s done, chances are you will be exhausted.
Some people think the wedding isn’t for you, it’s for your family. I don’t agree. Why shouldn’t you be selfish on your special day? It’s your wedding.
There will be plenty of vacations, and holidays, to spend time with family and others.
5) YOU GET TO KEEP YOUR SANITY. People go crazy planning for weddings. An intimate wedding or secret wedding is a good way to save yourself from the nightmare of spending so much time and effort taking everyone’s opinion on wedding ivitations, designs, table cloth patterns etc; and of course the stress of organizing seating. With a big wedding, there will be conventions, websites to visit, binders, too many emails, too many deals; it can drive you crazy.
6)IT WILL BE TOTALLY FINE IF YOU DON’T WANT TO INVITE ANYONE OR A FEW NUMBER OF PEOPLE.
Parents specially can be very vocal about what they picture for their child’s wedding. Since its customary for parents to help with the wedding expenses; the couple can end up feeling guilty of saying “no”.
With an intimate wedding or a secret wedding, you have control over all details. You won’t have to worry about anyone’s insistence on what your colours should be.
7)PERSONALIZED PHOTOS. Plenty of photographers specialize on elopement photos. They do an amazing job of it, and you won’t have to worry about making the bridesmaids and groomsmen look good.
8)YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT WITH YOUR VOWS. You can be raw and totally honest about how you feel. You don’t have to impress anyone; and you will have the comfort of knowing your word’s were fully understood by your loved one.
9)YOU CAN SURPRISE EVERYONE WITH THE NEWS. You can choose when and how you tell others. It will be a total surprise; who knows some may even think you are joking!.
10)YOU CAN ALWAYS HOST A RECEPTION LATER. After you deliver the news, you may choose to host a reception/BBQ. You don’t have to rush, you can do it when the timing is right for you two.