I came across the following Japanese Proverbs through a friend of mine, who understands my like for anything that can help me improve in life. I am certainly not perfect neither do I carry a perfect life. I live my life in the only way that I can, which is by doing what makes me happy.
For so many years I lived life normally, not naturally. Normal is what everyone does, natural is what you do in a unique way, what your talent is. We all are different, and we each have a unique natural way to be; which is lost as we grow up in a society where we are taught to behave normally.
Unfortunately when we do this, we tend to join the rat race, and forget that there is nothing and no one to compete with. Learning to be and embrace myself to its fullness has been a wonderful journey. I am thankful to have been born with a defiant spirit which never gave into the norm. As I get older I am loving every step of this process called life.
At times it can be painful, frustrating, and you may loose many people, but ultimately new ones come into place, true friendships, better relations, and when it comes to my love life, I can’t complain, its wonderful.
You see when my sweetheart and I talk about our past, past relationships, we do so not in a way that cares to look at the people that were part of our past but rather at our feelings back then, our perspectives then vs. who we are now.
At this point in our lives; looking back; we both agree that it’s the first time we have been able to be completely “real”. Our past and the relationships in it, where a stepping stone, learning lessons, for which we are grateful. We learned the good and bad of people that came into our life. We also learned to recognize that we were never able to be totally open and honest with anyone.
Now its different; not just with each other, but with those who we work and surround ourselves with. The ability to be real with each other, to not fear criticism but instead to be accepted for we are; is a beautiful one. To gently be pushed and encourage to develop. Its been a rocky road but when you are totally real with each other, no matter what others think, it is an experience that is fulfilling.
So here I give you some of my favourite Japanese Proverbs:
1.- If a problem has a solution;why worry? and if it does not; why worry?
Reality is that many of us are worriers. The bottom line is we need to let go more. Let go of fears, ideas, toxicity, people, anything that does not contribute to our growth. We have to accept that there will be things, circumstances and people that we can not change, it is neither our job to do so. At times there will be no solution to certain problems, so just let go. To worry only hurts you and damages your health. Id doesn’t matter if others get it or not, it is not their life, its yours. Do what you need to do, to be hapy and healthy!
2.-If you think about something, make a decision. If you decided stop thinking about it.
Second guessing ourselves is probably one of the most damaging things we can do to ourselves. Usually the best decision we can make comes naturally/ intituively. Have you ever head the expression listen to your gut?. I am not talking about making a decision when you are angry, or upset. Wait until you are in a calm mood, make a decision, and after that follow it with actions. Stop second guessing yourself. You will make some good choices, some bad choices, but they are yours, and you can learn from both. Learn to live without regrets.
3.- Do not try to stop those that leave, neither reject those who come into your life.
So many times like children we tend to either internalize things, or to shake responsibility of our part in things. Neither one is good. Circumstances, people, change. We change too, some people will come and some will go; we have no control over it. To be bitter and vindictive is to show how inmature and cold hearted one is. If that is how you react, their leaving should serve you as a lesson; maybe that part of you is something that the other person had seen and didn’t want to be part of.
You may also be a nice person, and there may be nothing wrong with you; things just changed.
To recognize where our soul’s growth ranks, is easy. Ask yourself, how do you respond to change?. Do you become bitter?, do you hate?, do you conspire to hurt those you feel hurt you?. If you do, then you need to work on that, because you are shaking responsibility. If on the other hand you are respectful, and wish for the person that left your life to find happiness, then you are a mature soul. (saying you wish the best for the other person isn’t enough if you are only saying it to others but your actions towards the person that left, is a different one)
4.-I love this one: It is best to be the enemy of a good person, than the friend of a bad one.
The way I was raised, was very similar. I was told “It is better to have an enemy you can respect, than to have a friend who is a backstabber”.
Many of us think that friendship has a price. We hide behind the word loyalty. Loyalty represents something beautiful, a great ideal. To stand behind or stand by someone whom you consider a friend but hurts others is wrong. It is a sign that you may fear solitude. To turn a blind eye is wrong. No one has the right to be going around invading, disturbing the privacy and the life of others.
5.-If there were no common people; then there would not be extraordinary people.
This proverb challenges us to be exceptional. To go against the norm. It is those who the world consider challenging, difficult, opinionated, who really changed this world for the best. To not rock the boat, may get you popularity or to feel you are accepted; but are you really?.
6.-If you want to reach hight, build a ladder.
What this means is to put action to your words. To work for what you want, to try your best. You may not have as much as the next person, but make sure that what you have is yours, not something you took from someone else.
7.-True love is seen when man and woman act like hands and eyes. When the hands hurt, the eyes cry. When the eyes cry, the hands dry the tears.
This is beautiful. I am experiencing this with my partner; and it’s the most connecting one can experience with another soul. Are you there to be the rock when ther person you love is hurting?. Do you bring a solution or do help seek for one?.
Its been my experience when am hurting, my partner listens, and soothes, not just with words, but helps me find a solution.
I am his priority, the same way he is mine. When he is hurting, I am there, and to me it does not matter the criticism of others. If we made a decision for our benefit, for our health, I stand by it. To me is non-important, what others think of me, or why I guard my household the way I do. Others don’t see the hurt in my partner caused by others, others don’t care what it has done to him. As such, I stand to protect my partner, from things that will affect his health, spirit and mind, the way he does for me; and if others don’t like it its their problem not mine. Do what is best for you, others don’t live your life.
8.-Even if you were to use the sword once in you life; it is necessary to carry it with you always.
You don’t have to fight the world. Simply removing yourself from anything and anyone that does not compliment you or help you develop is good. One can stand up without retaliation, without vindictiveness; one can walk away. However one day you may come across those who no matter how much you have tried to walk away, and ignore, won’t let you be.
There comes a time when you say enough; and at that time, you will need to stand up in a way that leaves no room for the other person to coward or hide. Again it isn’t about fighting the world, it is about fighting for the world, and that starts with you. There are times to walk away and there are times to fight, otherwise you become someone that anyone can just walk over, and your life should matter more to you than to act like a doormat.
9.-If you want to know about the true nature of a tree, look at the fruit
People can say many things, talking is easy, but the best way to see their nature is by how they teach those close to them; their fruit. It does not matter how nice a person acts with others, all you need to know about them you will buy looking at those close to them. Is not about what they teach, you can see it in the results. Are they respectful? forgiving? kind? gentle? straightforward? or they go around preaching something while their actions are unkind, rude, cruel.
10.-When there is love even the worst scars are beautiful.
That is true, when you truly love someone, you don’t love them with your eyes. People don’t fall in love with how someone looks, that is called attraction.
People can be attracted to many beautiful looking people,that is natural. However people fall in love with how the other person makes them feel. Imagine, if a person made you feel ugly, like you are less than them, if they pointed out your scars, your lumps, the way you talk, etc; then chances are you will not be attracted to them, no matter how they looked or how they acted. Love builds; it does not mean it enables; but it helps you see your worth, it leaves you feeling beautiful.
11.-One doesn’t fall if they are just laying on a bed.
There is nothing wrong with making mistakes, it means, you are trying. You may be trying to figure life, to figure yourself out. You may be trying to achieve something. Mistakes are natural. Someone once said, “show me a wise person and I will show you someone who has made many mistakes”. You can not learn if you don’t try. Wisdom truly does come from the knowledge collected in your triumphs and your failures.
12.- When walking let the fools, the blind and the crazy walk first.
Let others do and say what they want, time is always your biggest ally. Time will reveal everything. Take your time with your actions. Even to fight back, take your time. Time has a tendency to reveal what is hidden.
13.- Victory belongs to the one that waits longer than its opponent.
Again time, for no one can hide the truth forever. No matter how much they try. Time will reveal their actions, no matter how much they have try to hide them.
14.-Verify 7 times before you jugge someone.
It is sad to see how many people believe the first thing that someone says about someone else. It really does reveal a lot about themselves, and their limitations. If you have not met the person yourself, then you are speaking or passing judgement like an ignorant person. If you have not taken the proper time, to know a circumstance or a person, then don’t act like a fool, by passing judgement on what you know nothing about.
15.-Excessive goodness is really mask for stupidity.
Doing good things is great, but when one lives trying to be good to everyone, it is a deflective technique. Like magic. Look that way, so you may not see this way. Another way to explain it would be “if I distract you with this, then you won’t have to look too closely at me”. Goodness starts with one self and one’s own household.
16.-Poverty creates thiefs; the same way love creates poets.
So true. Just because one is in love, doesn’t necessarily mean one is versed with the gift of poetry. That is a talent, born out of someone. A talent not many have. In the same way, just because someone is poor it does not mean that that person has a right or is or will be a thief. Poverty is not a spiritual state. We should not think that one is better than another because of how much that person has. It may be the person who has least has earned it, and the person who has more has stole it from others.
17.-Deep rivers ran slowly.
Do not compete with others, do things at your rhythm, what works for you.
You may think others have it together, remember the best art took time to be created.