He got up and stood in front of the mirror…It had been a long time since he had done this; he looked at himself drinking in slowly his reflection. He observed himself and without uttering a single word; he felt a depth of sadness. Melancholy overtook him and he asked himself- when did this happen? where did the time go?-…Now everything felt heavy, and he was standing there all alone…He never thought that moment would arrive so quickly. He was always used to feeling on top of the world, to look down at others; and now no one noticed him; he knew it was because none of his actions had left any mark or impacted anyone…it was inevitable, he was alone.
There were no friends; he never took much importance to building or developing meaningful relationships, because no one was worthy of his trust..deep inside he knew he did not want others to see his faults; which he denied even to himself. He had no one- what of his children? he had children who never visited him or care because he had never bothered to accept them for who they were. He had never guided them, he had instilled judgment in them, and now he was reaping what he had sown…-and the love of his life? long ago she had left him, for he had no time to focus on her and could not let her in…an outsider she was and one day just like an outsider she left.
He was alone. He had preferred to live to make vast amounts of money, to keep him safe during his old age; but what he did not cultivate was love. …Now he was standing there, alone, and wishing to be loved; wishing to feel the embrace of the woman who loved him with her all, wishing to hear her voice and the voice of his children; but he had destroyed it all. Life had given many chances, different loves yet he taken all of them for granted….His egotistical nature destroyed it all…all he had was money and age; he new there would be no harvest for him.
Too late he realized that life is short, and it balances out. Too late he realized there was nothing for him to collect; now that he was thirsting for love; he realized love has no price, unless it is false and selfish.
Solitude overtook him as if he was being covered by a blanket; and empty, useless blanket; where the chills still ache his bones; no..not his bones..his heart..his soul.
How much now he was willing to pay in order to go back in time- to stop the love of his life; to tell her he loved her, to hold her, and kiss her, to tell her, she was the one…that no other person mattered before her. He missed her kissing his eyes, his lips, holding him. He missed her strength…for it took strength to leave him..but he had to face that time is not something you can get back; time waits for no one.
He was awaiting for death and even death seemed to have forgotten about him, or it had something worst reserved for him. So he would cry , like a child who has just lost his parents…he cried until he was down on his knees, feeling angry and helpless all at once..wishing not to go on!
Not the parties, nor the woman, had filled him. ..Nothing now could fill the emptiness..he had no real family, or real love. He had not cultivated either one. All he has left with now, was to watch his body fail, as he age, as he approach the end of his journey…
What a sad awakening!!!!