Lots of people go day by day asking themselves why they can’t find the right person or how they can become more attractive. Believe it or not there is a simple answer; I came across this answer as I was researching more on the subject of personal energy….

What is the answer? “You find the one you love, doing what you love”.

Most people confused their priorities. They think if they put on more makeup, act more congenial or buy expensive things they will attract better mates. Not necessarily, they may attract more people but not for the right reasons.

We forget how at one point or another people will have to see you without makeup. Anything that is only skin deep is in reality no competition, why? Because there are millions of beautiful people out there. I am not saying taking care of oneself is not important, instead try to balance the 3 aspects of human nature: Mental, physical, spiritual.

Most people nurture only one or two sides,however as one balances all 3 main aspects of our nature one becomes more attractive. Attractive in a way that has no comparison or competition.

Why is that?-As we start to balance all 3 main aspects of our nature a few things start to happen, some of them are:

Neuroplasticity- Your brain’s ability to rewired itself. As more information is being fed, new connections start to happen in your brain. Un-tap parts of your mind start to switch on. You start seeing the world through clearer eyes, as that happens your attitude towards the world changes. As your attitude changes, the way your body responds changes. You develop more confidence–your body or body language is a reflection of our internal thinking.

Another thing that happens is you start to develop empathy; which is the ability to truly feel the world around you. Unlike sympathy which is compassion; empathy means you don’t just become aware of the problem, instead you feel the problem and you strive to change it.

Your mind and soul expand, and the more that happens, the more you embrace yourself and tap into your full potential.
Once that starts to happen a deep realization hits; one that should have been obvious from day one; you have no competition! You are a power to be reckon with. You can offer the world more than just looks, more than just intellect, more than just spirituality. You can tap into your own uniqueness!

The process of embracing your uniqueness can bring forth many changes in your life. One of them is the ability to accept/value your natural gifts and excel at them, as a result you start doing what you love. When we start living doing what we love, we start attracting new people into our lives. People who can add to your life, with whom you can grow and be real with. There is nothing more sexy than the raw you, the real you.

Many like to approach people with masks or pick up lines. Why don’t they work?, because they are not authentic. Everybody else is doing it. We have to be ourselves to become more attractive.

Its great to be super confident and to trust yourself, but more so is to relax into yourself, this will definitely make you more attractive.

A lot of the time when we approach the opposite sex, we feel nervous. Part of the reason we feel like that is because you are not being authentic, you are not relaxed. You know you want something from the other person, perhaps you want that person to notice you, to give you his or her number. Now you have created expectations on how you would like things to happen. What if the result were to be different than what you expected? You now added what may be another blow to your self esteem. To prevent this, one needs to let go.

Let’s talk about bad boys. When talking about bad boys, let it not be confused with players. Players; be it male or female; tend to hide behind masks.  For players it’s all about the score, the likes, they want everyone to notice them. They don’t cultivate realism within themselves or with others. They cultivate an image, be it a prude image, a distorted image; it doesn’t matter, its an image; one they will do anything to protect.

When talking about real sexy men or women, we are talking about those men who have embrace the masculine in them and those women who have embrace the goddess in them.  They tend not to be very loud or obnoxious. They know they don’t have to be friends with everyone and they really don’t care if others like them or not.
You don’t find them at parties or events being friends with everyone one, trying to impress everybody. They usually have an air that tends to intimidate those less comfortable in their own skin.

Why are they so attractive?, because they are raw, they are real. They remind us that they are not willing to sell who they are in order to be accepted. So we tend to be attracted to them.
Even those who claim to dislike them only do so because being next to them is a reminder of the many masks they’ve put on in order to fit in. It is their ability to remain who they are despite what others say and their ability to express their opinion openly without being loud or needing to be the life of the party which makes sexy men/women.  The definition of what used to encompass the terminology “bad boy” “bad girl” has changed.  Those terms used to be employed on those who were genuinely confident; oddly enough they were the “loners” not the “loud mouths” who others would be talking about when using those terminologies.

When we see the opposite sex doing what they love, developing their human nature, integrating all 3 main aspects of themselves, is when we find them very attractive.

For women to become more attractive to men, they need to stop trying too hard. It is wonderful that you take care of your outer appearance, after all the female body is one that has inspired the most beautiful sonnets, and works of art.  A friend of mine reminded me a while back of something very important. He said women should keep in mind that most men feel that if it takes a woman more than 10 minutes to get ready just to hang out, then she is not beautiful. You see beauty is not just the makeup it is the personality. That is the beauty to which my friend referred to.

We need to realize under the right lighting we can all look good. Women need to remember that at one point all the fancy clothes, the makeup will have to come off. Now the important part is, do you match the expectations you have created for yourself?. Do you match them in all 3 levels? or did you create false expectations?

Now when talking about personality being important, I am not talking about fake persona, because that also will have to come off. A fake congenial personality can not be maintained for long.  If you want to attract the right person, then you need to be real. All about you; the good, the bad, your talents, your strengths, your fears, your wounds, and not feel shame for any of it; all of it makes you!.

When women become the “warrior queen” it is so attractive. That’s what blows men’s minds. Remember, real men are not afraid of real women. Only boys want to feed their illusions and girls like to give it to them. with neither one of them understanding the real nature and true power of the God/Goddess relationship.

Real women accept the power of the feminine, they don’t judge it or suppress it nor confuse it with being fake. It is in embracing the feminine power, that women become truly alluring. Alluring in a way that is raw and unique.

Women need to remember that a real man comes alive when being challenged; not controlled but challenged to grow as a person. Real men like real women who enjoy and embrace growth, even during its difficult times.

The secret for both sexes is self love. As we exist within each other, we need to remember anything that helps you grow as a person is not only good for you but also for your partner. If you are single keeping all of the these in mind will certainly attract those who resonate with you.
What better way to have a relationship than to have one where YOU can be YOU!